A little racist walk

I had my nationality cursed 4 times by one drunk on the street one night.

Now bear with me, you'll have to do all of the accents yourself.

I'm walking Albert and a guy comes staggering up. Albert is in mid stream so I can't just walk away. He says in what I think is some vaguely european accent, "May I kiss your dog?"

me - "Excuse me?"

drunk - "May I kiss your dog. First I should say, I have had much alcohol. May I kiss your dog."

me - "Um, no, he's not really that friendly to strangers. So, I don't think it's a good idea."

drunk - "No, you don't understand. I want to kiss your dog. My only son has a dog, and I love him so much that that dog is my grandson. Do you understand??"

me - "I get it. But, I don't think its a good idea."

drunk - "I must kiss your dog." (getting agitated now) "Do you know, I will kill the man for the dog. If you beat that dog, I will kill the man that beats that dog."
drunk - "You are not English are you? I am Mongolian. Where are you from? Australia?"
drunk - "Funking Australians. Think you can come in here..."

me - "I'm not Australian."

drunk - "Fucking South Africans."
drunk - "No, not South African. You're French. Fucking French come in here and plant flowers and call the place France. Fuck France."

me - "Not French either. I'm Canadian."

drunk - "Fucking French Canadian. Fuck you."
drunk - "Still I must kiss your dog."


IT WAS AWESOME. I HAD MY AUSTRALIAN, SOUTH AFRICAN, FRENCH AND CANADIAN HERITAGE CURSED IN ONE MINUTE.